Narcissism and the puppet of doom

At the arts centre where I have my studio they sent around an email asking all artists to introduce ourselves to the resident film maker so we could have little You Tube videos made of ourselves. Now, just as Mariah Carey doesn't do stairs (something I'm increasingly sympathetic with the older I get), I don't do video. When I was studying art I took many photographs of myself and I know the tutors thought that this narcissism was my thing but in fact it was sheer practicality. Having a part time job and a child, often the only time I got to work was 11pm and there weren't many willing models around then. So I captured myself in various guises (cut-price Cindy Sherman) and became immune to the ghastly aging pudginess of my own image. The only ones I like were the set I took of my feet ...

One of my many foot images 

Now I have a choice - no more 'me' on camera.
So I decided to make a puppet of myself to star in this video. Luckily I have a friend, known here as Mam'selle Fifi, who is interning at a puppet theatre. I've seen some of her puppets and they are truly magnificent so I visited her house, loaded down with my box of scrap frills and furbelows and a bottle of wine. Wanting a quick thrill she showed me an easy, less messy version of papier mache, using scrunched up newspaper and vast quantities of masking tape. The example Mam'selle had brought from the theatre was a charming little fellow with a huge nose and lovely smooth surface.
This whole exercise brought out the worst in me; the vanity! Fifi started off making my head despite my cries of anguish (Are you doing the double chin? How squinty are my eyes?). I scared her into being too nice so by the end of the evening she'd drunk the wine and made a puppet that looked like a pretty, pop eyed alien. I took it home, made the eyes squintier and added more chin. Sadly, I couldn't replicate the smooth surface or the fine modelling of the demonstration model so mine has deformed breasts and the skin of a leper. It isn't finished yet but my son was thrilled I'd made a puppet of a zombie.  Here is 'my' head.

Ahhh! the Zombies are here ...

Although I'm not keen on brandishing my image across the internet this has such little similarity with how I actually look, it doesn't matter.
Hmmm, think I might need to work a little harder at my puppet making skills.